Reasons Why My Life Sucks Right Now

1. There has been a power-cut for the past two and a half hours and the outside temperature is 42C. I place the inside temperature at 43.

2. A wasp stung me while I was bathing. On the butt.

3. I have to finish reading Hard Times in five hours. I've spent the past seven trying to, but I keep falling asleep by the time I reach Chapter 3.

4. The only person who's called me in the past twenty four hours is my mother.

5. As I type this, there are about five mosquitoes attacking my legs. Despite the fact that I'm covered in Odomos and I sprayed the room with so much Hit that I can't breathe properly right now.

6. I left a couple of text books behind in Calcutta and the delivery costs are coming out of my bank account. I noticed that this term's college fees and Mrs Khera's rent also came out of my bank account: an account I'd been planning on using to fund a trip around the world or something similar.

7. My cousin keeps calling me to tell me about all the boys who are in love with her. Twelve to fifteen boys, give or take. I counted the boys who are in love with me- one. He's a universally acknowledged creeper.

8. My best friend thinks I have a neurotic, twisted and deeply disturbed personality and will never find true love unless I hide the real me from my future beloved or whatever.

9. I definitely failed the Hindi exam and now have to spend my second year of college studying it. If I fail second year (likely), I have to do it in third year. If I fail it in third year (possible), I don't get my degree.

10. The past seems disastrous, the future worse, and the present solely comprises pain thanks to that fucking wasp.

I challenge any FML-er to come up with a more pathetic life than mine. Except perhaps, the woman who ran over her lost dog.


Anonymous said...

yes, victorian novels are generally a bane. however a classmate of mine has very aptly commented, "novel jokhon lekha hoye, tar maney net-ey summary o paowa jaye". add a little bit of creative intellectualism. bingo. you have an easy 65% depending on the teacher.

stay away from hit. it is very bad for your system. kill insects the au naturale way. slipper/hand.

hang in there. you are intelligent and pretty. you will find a man. who will be worth your time, and intellectual and emotional investment. the current sex ratio for delhi is 871:1000. most definitely in your favour. but like a lot of people from kolkata living in delhi, if you prefer your men from the state, all i can say is happy hunting during the summer.

all of us are neurotic. otherwise we wouldn't be capable of entering the world of language. take it from someone who has studied more lacan than he wants to.

why would anyone want to study hindi in the first place?

and best of luck with the wasp sting. try applying some lime. as in the choon from the paan.

and what on earth is an FML-er?

Weirdo guy said...

Hah.. you think that's bad ? I read this on FML

"I have been married to my boring husband for 20 years.Two months ago i met this funny and intelligent guy on a anonymous chatroom. We exchanged phone number and we decided to meet up in a motel for a "night of fun". I went there expecting to meet the perfect guy. Instead i met my 17 year old son.FML"


blinknmiss said...

If your cousin keeps calling you, your mum can't be the only one.

Your life comprises, and does not comprise of. Pain or whatever.

But, your twisted neurotic personality is also rather charming. Surely it will attract more than creepers. Someday.

trish said...

@Shalmi: Yeah well, she hadn't called the past twenty four hours.
Grammatical errors don't count when someone's going through mental trauma. I've changed it though.
Also, I don't care who my personality attracts so long as the creepers stay away. As soon as I make my fortune, I'm going to buy a boat, stock up on rum and take to the seas and no one will ever see me again. Except the Oompa Loompas.

FML-er: go to fmylife.com and you may understand what I'm talking about.

Zaev Dutt said...


ALINEFX said...

what the hell are you studying that parimal language for... STILL!!!??