"You can be happy, Trisha. You can be very happy."
"Change your personality. Hypnotism's popular these days."
Man Whore Friend: Acceptance
"Don't worry, men like stupid girls. You'll have no trouble getting laid."
"Shit. We should stop bitching about her. Karma, y'know."
"On the other hand, our bitching about her could be her karma. Yes, I think it most definitely is."
[The bitching continues, but our hearts are lighter].
"Let's go. Don't bother with the makeup. It's not going to make you prettier."
Friend: Work Ethic
"Don't be a fucker. Write your assignment. Do something with your life."
"You're right. Have you finished yours?"
"When is it due?"
"Two days ago."
"Is that a toad or a frog, Jayatri?"
"Why are you asking me, you freak? Do I look like I know about toads and frogs?"
"You studied Biology."
"Oh yeah... it's a frog."
"Are you making that up?"
"You know, Shourjo was right. There are too many toads and frogs in this world. They should start dissecting them again."
"Drinking is vile."
Two days later.
"But she's so ugly. She's not even nice. And you don't even like her."
"Listen, standards aren't important."
"You always say how they're important."
"This was a special case."
"I was drunk and desperate. Standards don't matter when you're drunk and desperate."
"I know I'm supposed to be a feminist, Trisha, but all I want is to be married by the time I'm twenty three and live in a little cottage with a garden and a really hot gardener."
"I just retched into a snowdrift. Score!"
Varun: How Not To Discriminate
"I like boobies. Small boobies, big boobies, it don't matter. Boobies are nice!"
"I want us to win this world cup so bad, Tanu. I'm actually praying for Tendulkar to stay on."
"Who do you think God is, man?"
My Mother (who isn't strictly a friend, but whatever): Obedience.
"If you don't do what I say, I'll freeze your bank account."