2012's last life lesson.

I will forever be grateful to 2012 for teaching me things, and not too harshly either. It taught me that it's okay not to know what you want to do once you've finished college, but also, that it's not okay to sit around and complain about it. It taught me that if you can't be specific when someone asks you what you want to do, then it's important to go out and find the answer, rather than waiting for an epiphany to find you - epiphanies have better things to do. It taught me a lot about self control: namely, that it's possibly the most important quality to have. Without self control, it's difficult to have self respect. It taught me a lot about people: those who seem shallow and boring and who seem to have not much to say for themselves are sometimes the least pretentious, the ones who have their heads screwed on right.

Anyway, this isn't a monologue on how I've evolved this past year, it is rather, an anecdote on something extremely stupid I did, and what I've learnt from it.

Date: 24.12.2012 (which turned to 25.12.2012, which should have been the first warning).

Place: Third party of the night (second warning)

Incident: Climbing into Varun's car (sensible, if it had been Siddharth Sharma's, I would probably have been dead by now).

Fault: mine, and it was a twofold one. It included my natural accident proneness, and also, large quantities of wine and vodka, which was an amateur mistake, and one I am kicking myself over, because I learnt long ago not to mix drinks, and this was a good reminder of why you shouldn't mix drinks, or drink irresponsibly.

We were at this lovely party, but unfortunately (actually, fortunately) I don't remember much. Beautiful house, and long stretches of garden, and cheerful bonfires which no one fell into, and I was feeling pleased with myself because I was wearing high heeled shoes and not falling over. I always get into trouble when I feel pleased with myself.

This is good, said my treacherous mind. Let's have one more Vodka and Redbull and feel like we're in college.

(I'm not in college. Note to self: never want to 'feel' like being in college again, it was an undignified time).

The drink was lovely, let's have one more. Oh look, people I know, let's talk to them. Oh, but they're being boring, so let's rudely move away mid- conversation, and go join another group. They're even more boring, why are they talking about this, why do I want to hear about this, maybe we should go back to previous group, oh no, wait, there's a friend I haven't spoken to in twenty minutes, let's go over and say hello. (I have more than one voice in my head usually, I'm sure most of us do).

Oh look, here is a Frenchman I've only met once who is extremely good looking and rude, let's be rude in return to show that we don't think he's good looking. Okay, done being rude, let's go get another drink. Oh look, there's another friend. Tra la la la la.

[Insert dancing which I don't remember].

[Insert leaving party which I don't remember].

[Insert climbing into Varun's car which I do remember, albeit vaguely].

The next thing I remember is that the car was moving, and I hadn't closed the door properly, but I didn't have time to shout, or maybe I did, and I was desperately scrabbling around trying to get a hold of something, but I missed, and the door swung open, and I fell out. I remember wrapping my arms tightly around my head as I fell - hah! I do have some sort of half baked survival instinct then - and I hit the ground.

I remember lying there, thinking this was the end. I think that's where the vodka comes in. I know there were people around me, but I couldn't open my eyes. My consciousness had tucked itself into a warm, dark corner of my mind, and it just wanted to be left there. I felt a friend shaking me frantically, and I wanted to respond but I couldn't. It was all very strange and traumatising.

And then I heard the word hospital, and I was just like, NO. No way was I going to be taken to hospital, a recorded statistic of irresponsible drinking. So I sat up, and I suppose I got back into the car, and then I came home. My mother yelled at me and put me to bed.

Later in the morning - Merry Christmas! - I went to get a tetanus shot, and to get my knee dressed. All the skin of my knee had come off. It really wasn't a big deal at first, and I came home to a whole lot of undeserved Christmas presents, and a peaceful day, spent the way Christmas should be spent.

But since then, I have visited a doctor, and been informed that I should get plastic surgery on my knee, and I am supposed to be leaving for Delhi on the 3rd to start a new job, and basically, all hell has broken loose.

None of this was as bad as the phone calls and e-mails I had to send off the morning after the party, to all the people I'd apparently been rude to, traumatised, and otherwise inconvenienced.

I strongly believe in making the best of bad situations though, of emerging from a pile of poop smelling of roses. So I am trying to tuck away the embarrassment, the humiliation (there is nothing I can do about the pain which, I assure you, is AGONY), and instead, use this incident to emerge a better person.

The obvious answer to that is to never let it happen again.

More importantly, I think, if faced with a similar situation, to ensure that it is tackled with a bit more dignity. Up to this point, I hadn't made a resolution for 2013, but 2012 cackled and was all, "think you've gotten through me with no need for improvement, next year? Ha ha, let me change that, just a bit."

Courage, someone once said, is grace under pressure. I don't know whether I would call that courage, but to be graceful under pressure, and also not to aid said pressure with Absolut, is what I will strive for this coming year.


The Annual Recap

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

- The big ones: graduated college, had a proper job, earned paycheck, studied an online course on the side, saw Death staring me in the face and triumphed. Yes, I did. 
- The little ones: drove an auto, flew a kite, baked edible cookies, learned how to do many push ups in a row, went skinny dipping in the ocean, started driving, got chased by a cow, etc. 

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My new year's resolution was to do something new every week. I didn't manage doing that every week, but I made a valiant attempt to. No resolutions for next year yet. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


4. Did anyone close to you die?


5. What countries did you visit?

Indonesia, and since I visited Hong Kong and crossed over to Kowloon, I suppose I can count China. 

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

A little epiphany on future career paths would be nice, but...(see point 8)

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

June: I graduated college, left Delhi, aaaaand, well, it was memorable for other reasons as well.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

It's not an achievement yet, but probably giving up on epiphanies. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Sat around on my ass too much. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?


11. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My uncle Pud. 

12. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

No one comes to mind. 

13. Where did most of your money go?

On Saturday nights out. 

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Haha. I can't say. Too embarrassing. 

15. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Probably anything by Katie Melua.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Technically, I am depressed and confused at the moment, but honestly honestly honestly, deep deep down, in the pit of my stomach, back of my mind, SO MUCH HAPPIER. 

17. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Nothing, really. 

18. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Less flirting. Actually, no. That's a lie. 

19. How will you be spending Christmas?

With friends and family. 

20. Did you fall in love in 2012?

I didn't fall in love this year. 

21. How many one night stands?


22. What was your favourite TV programme?

The Misfits, The Big Bang Theory. 

23. What was the best book you read?

Er, probably Eric Ives' biography on Anne Boleyn. It sounds lame even to me. 

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Mmm. Can't think of anything offhand. 

25. What did you want and get?

 I can't say. But something really important and wonderful and I thought I never ever would, but I did. So HAHAHA.

26. What did you want and not get?

A fixed plan for next year. 

27. What was your favourite film of this year?

Don't know. 

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 21 and had a big party and the neighbours complained. 

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A lot of things, but I think I had quite a lot to be grateful for. 

30. What kept you sane?

My mother for the first half of the year, Akshay for the last half (after she went nuts with the perimenopause), and Mawii, throughout. 

31. Who was the worst new person you met?

I can't say in case that person finds my blog. He probably won't, but just in case. 

32. Who was the best new person you met?

I met a lot of people, but no one special comes to mind. 

33. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learnt in 2012.


34. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.