I am done writing about Portugal. Fucking Portugal. It will just stay in my head, and the time spent in England after.
Like sitting on the stairs outside the National Gallery, all on my own, eating a sandwich and eyeing the pigeons suspiciously, while Yoda played a guitar close by. And visiting the flower market with Mawii, while Cockneys screamed for you to buy their flowers and not the other man's - as loud as any Indian hawker could. Finding a bookshop in a boat on the Serpentine. Meeting A.O. for a beer and a pizza and cramming a year of our lives into an hour.
Yeah, man, it'll just stay in my head. Infinitely more interesting there. Also, I am lazy.
I am going absolutely crazy because it's December, but work is interfering from my being December - which I am - so I cannot be out drinking beer in the sunshine right now with that crisp, smoky December smell wafting around me.
No, I must sit in office and be Hard Working and Dedicated and Ambitious. I can be these things, but not this time of year. Although I don't think Jijo will appreciate my going to him and being all, "Yo, can I take the rest of the day off because it's December and I need to make merry, not meet deadlines."
I don't know what to do with all this happiness - it's not the right kind of happiness for work.
Like sitting on the stairs outside the National Gallery, all on my own, eating a sandwich and eyeing the pigeons suspiciously, while Yoda played a guitar close by. And visiting the flower market with Mawii, while Cockneys screamed for you to buy their flowers and not the other man's - as loud as any Indian hawker could. Finding a bookshop in a boat on the Serpentine. Meeting A.O. for a beer and a pizza and cramming a year of our lives into an hour.
Yeah, man, it'll just stay in my head. Infinitely more interesting there. Also, I am lazy.
I am going absolutely crazy because it's December, but work is interfering from my being December - which I am - so I cannot be out drinking beer in the sunshine right now with that crisp, smoky December smell wafting around me.
No, I must sit in office and be Hard Working and Dedicated and Ambitious. I can be these things, but not this time of year. Although I don't think Jijo will appreciate my going to him and being all, "Yo, can I take the rest of the day off because it's December and I need to make merry, not meet deadlines."
I don't know what to do with all this happiness - it's not the right kind of happiness for work.
1 comment:
The moments when you are perfectly at peace with yourself, more secure of your place in the world - because you have worked yourself out of your anxious episode or it's parents or friends you can sit in comfortable silence with. Or it's reading something like your writing that radiates the same subtle sense of acceptance and hope.
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