I have never longed for and dreaded something equally in parts at the same time, ever in my life; and at the same time not cared.

So many emotions, and no emotion, all wrapped up in one fucked up bundle.

If I can handle this with grace, I swear I will not dread turning twenty-five; I will feel that I can, and that I have, coped. And that will make all the difference. 

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