Days like this.

There's nothing I enjoy more than having existential crises and feeling that life is futile and locking myself up at home, chain smoking and feeling sorry for myself. But on a day like this...on a day like this, I wake up in the morning and feel sparkling, glad just to be alive. Light filters in through my window, littering my room with promises. On the walk to work, I notice things. The sharp outline of leaves on trees against a fresh sky, the intensity of their greenness. The scent of mangoes and of wood from the dilapidated carts they're piled up on. Stray thoughts of people I love; there are so many people I love.Catching a glimpse of my reflection on a shop window and feeling rather pretty. And some sort of elusive, tantalising feeling that I'm at one with the earth. That it knows who I am, although I don't. That it knows who I'm going to be. And because it knows, I don't have to worry, I don't have to be anxious, I can just let things unfold with time. Sometimes I'll float with the tide, sometimes I'll swim for the goal. I spend a lot of my time feeling as though I'm fighting a battle against life, but on days like this, on days like this, we agree to a truce. Or perhaps, I'm hit by the realisation that we're fighting on the same side.

Until tomorrow anyway.




P.S. And, on top of everything else, this just arrived from PM and my dad. Ah, days like this.