Living alone isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Like today, for instance, it's already 6 pm, and I'm still stuck at work, because there's a lot of work, and then I have to grocery shop, because I have no food at home, and then I have to go home and clean my apartment because I had people over on Friday (I am never having people over again) and the place is currently a disaster zone, and I cope with disasters by avoiding them until I can't avoid them, and I coped with this particular disaster by spending the weekend at my brother's.

But I can't put it off any longer. I have to clean. I have to sweep the floors, and then wash them, and clean the bathroom, and do the dishes, and also probably clean the fridge because it smells of garlic, and change my bed sheets otherwise I will get acne. (My mother knows my weaknesses and so chose to share this information with me.)

And I don't want to spend my hard earned money on yogurt and mushrooms and bananas, man, I want to spend it on beer, but I can't spend it on beer, because I should be consuming yogurt and mushrooms and bananas because I am a responsible adult now.

And I don't want to be a fatty.


You know what I'm going to do to make myself feel better about all this?

I'm going to clean my apartment naked. That's right, I'll be naked.

Because I can. I can roam around naked. I can sleep naked. That is one of the advantages of living alone. Actually, I'll go a step further.  I will roll myself a joint, and smoke the joint, while cleaning in a state of nudity.

(A far cry from when I'm at home in Calcutta, forced to smoke bloody cigarettes with my head stuck outside the bathroom window.)

Okay, I feel better now.


Anonymous said...

Living alone sounds fun, I must say.

Rahil Devgan said...

hahah. head stuck out of the window, so swollen it might get stuck!