Things my friends have taught me.

Min: Happiness

"You can be happy, Trisha. You can be very happy." 

"Great. How?"

"Change your personality. Hypnotism's popular these days."

Man Whore Friend: Acceptance

"You're stupid." 

"Excuse me?"

"Don't worry, men like stupid girls. You'll have no trouble getting laid."

Mawii: Karma

"Shit. We should stop bitching about her. Karma, y'know." 

"Yeah."

"On the other hand, our bitching about her could be her karma. Yes, I think it most definitely is."

[The bitching continues, but our hearts are lighter].

Akshay: Beauty.

"Let's go. Don't bother with the makeup. It's not going to make you prettier." 

Friend: Work Ethic

"Don't be a fucker. Write your assignment. Do something with your life." 

"You're right. Have you finished yours?"

"No."

"When is it due?"

"Two days ago." 

Jayatri: Nature

"Is that a toad or a frog, Jayatri?"

"Why are you asking me, you freak? Do I look like I know about toads and frogs?"

"You studied Biology."

"Oh yeah... it's a frog."

"Are you making that up?" 

*Silence*

"Jayatri?"

"You know, Shourjo was right. There are too many toads and frogs in this world. They should start dissecting them again." 

Jahnavi: Alcohol

"Drinking is vile." 

Two days later. 

"I'm dfunk." 

Sharma: Standards

"But she's so ugly. She's not even nice. And you don't even like her."

"Listen, standards aren't important." 

"You always say how they're important." 

"This was a special case."

"?"

"I was drunk and desperate. Standards don't matter when you're drunk and desperate." 

Ketki: Feminism 

"I know I'm supposed to be a feminist, Trisha, but all I want is to be married by the time I'm twenty three and live in a little cottage with a garden and a really hot gardener." 

A.O: Achievement.

"I just retched into a snowdrift. Score!" 

Varun: How Not To Discriminate

"I like boobies. Small boobies, big boobies, it don't matter. Boobies are nice!" 

Tanu: Faith.

"I want us to win this world cup so bad, Tanu. I'm actually praying for Tendulkar to stay on."

"Who do you think God is, man?"

My Mother (who isn't strictly a friend, but whatever): Obedience.

"If you don't do what I say, I'll freeze your bank account."