Why you* should snap me up.

*You, in this context, is very specific and only applies to a minuscule number of the human population who may or may not exist. (Most women I've come across lean towards the 'may not'.) 

Because my exams are around the corner, I spent the evening watching the Bridget Jones movies. (An important relaxation technique as everyone knows which will only serve to enhance my performance in the examination room.) Some of my friends have often told me that when it comes to my love life, I am like her. Heaven forbid.

I do not read self help books (fine, I did read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and I did subscribe to the rubber band theory for quite a few years but that was a minor teenage blip), I do not let my decisions be ruled by the doom and gloom of friends, I do not freak out if a boyfriend goes 24 hours without being in touch (although post that, I do start obsessively checking my phone but whatever), and I am not worried about dying a spinster though not a sexless one as a life without sex does seem quite bleak. In fact, come to think about it, I am wonderful and easy going and I am going to list the reasons on this blog so if ever a good looking, intelligent, sophisticated man (tough luck, Dhruv) reads this...

Well. Ahem. 

1. I am neither clingy nor needy, demanding communication at all hours of the day/night, needing to be told I'm beautiful, perfect, loved, and other sickening things.

2. I am not insecure about other girls, even if they have long hair, breasts the size (and shape) of melons, willowy waists, legs starting from their neck, can speak in five different languages, etc etc. 

3. I would not expect my boyfriend to give me expensive clothes, jewellery, etc etc (yes Diya Ghosh, I am talking to you) 

4. If my boyfriend wanted to have nights out with his male friends (poker games, binge drinking, strip clubs - although I might draw the line at a lap dance), I would not kick up a fuss. In fact, I would encourage him to do that (occasionally) instead of sitting at home painting my toenails for me or some such similar thing (I'm talking to you this time, Min). 

5. I would not expect my boyfriend to remember our anniversary which is a ridiculous concept anyway unless you're married (man, I'm awesome). Although I would be annoyed if my birthday was forgotten but that is understandable. 

6. I do not nag. Much. 

7. After a fight, once I've cooled down, if I'm in the wrong, I apologise with great sincerity. (It's not my fault if I'm hardly ever wrong.) Also, I do not hold grudges, constantly bringing up fights that occurred months ago. 

8. Although I don't watch much sport on television (Wimbledon and Cricket World Cups excluded), I do follow them in the papers and sports analyses do not bore me especially if they take place in sports bars with lots of beer. And I'm awesome at Tekkan. And Warcraft, despite what some of my male friends claim. 

9. I'm a terrible cook, but I make awesome sandwiches. Although if a boyfriend ever told me to "go make (him) a sammich", I would hit him on the head with a frying pan. 

10. I could go on and on about how calm, confident, and poised I am(inner poise in this case since I can't walk across a carpet without tripping), but since I know when to stop, I will stop. Another plus point to me. 

Really, what an introspective post this has been.

PS I should warn interested personnel that my affections are currently engaged by somebody who better appreciate this post should they happen to chance upon it. 


JunctionX said...


M said...

the mistress of subtlety as always

Ankita Sethia said...

such a catch!

Sayan said...

yes, sure.