Man Whores.

Men, I've realised, work like this:

Man 1: Fuck. She's hot.

Man 2: Yeah dude.

Man: 1. I think I want to bang her.

Man 2: Go for it, dude.

Three days later.

Man 2: So?

Man 1: She's hot, dude. But what a slut.

Man 2: At least she's not like (insert girl name). I've been trying to bang that bitch for a month now. No luck. Stupid frigging ice queen.

Okay, maybe not all men. But the majority.

That's Man Whore Type 1.

Man Whore Type 2 is more subtle. Not as despicable. Often a nice person. But still a Man Whore.

Man: I was on a plane.

Friend: Uh-huh.

Man: There was a beautiful girl sitting next to me.

Friend: Uh-huh.

Man: When I say beautiful, I mean beautiful. And she was intelligent. We talked about stuff.

Friend: Uh-huh.

Man: And then we made out. And then we went to the bathroom and...

Friend: What was her name?

Man: *pause*

Friend: Well?

Man: I could lie to you and say I know, but that was part of the beauty. You know... the smoothness of things.

And finally, there's Man Whore Type 3.

Man: *while making out with girl* You kiss so much better than So-and-so.

Girl: Uh.

Man: Seriously. You're gifted. And you're good in bed too. Much better than any of the other people I slept with last week.

Girl: *leaves*

Man: Did I say something wrong?

I asked a friend of mine once- he happens to be an original MCP- why it's okay for men to be whores while women are condemned for sleeping around. He thought for a moment.

"It's because we're men," he said. "It's a manly thing to do,"

I replied that that wasn't a good enough answer.

"It's evolution. Men used to go out and hunt and impregnate women to continue their lineage or whatever the term is. Women were supposed to just let themselves be impregnated and stay at home and cook."

"So there you go. Women used to get a lot of action too. Why is it such a big problem now?"

"They don't fucking cook anymore."



reflections said...

i like....quite a lot.:)

Anonymous said...

Tell them to suck and rotate...

rahildevgan said...

some don't. you're 18, stop thinking about this. or wait...start thinking about this.

Bosey said...

Bang on target... pun intended!

Zaev Dutt said...

I'm so proud of you. It's like I'm finally beginning to rub off on you in a completely positive way.

I'm truly proud of you.

iwannabefree said...

Trish, I laughed till my sides hurt so bad that I had to roll on the bed. IT WAS FANTASTIC!