Jadavpur University.

I went to Jadavpur this morning to submit my application.

Wait. Let me start from the start.

First, I went to school to pick up my attested forms and my character certificate. Note: They have the same damn character certificate for everyone which says- I can't remember what it says but it doesn't really say anything about your character. And they fill in your name in a blank space.

After that, I went to SBI (Gariahat) to submit the JU money. It was very crowded. I couldn't breathe. There were fifty people ahead of me and one old man had the audacity to cut in front of me. I tried to tell him something but I couldn't. My father is right when he says I'm too passive to be left to face the world alone. I gave up eventually and went to the Dhakuria branch. This was less crowded. But another person cut in front of me there too.

Am I one of those people who have an invisible sign on their forehead saying, "I'm a total sap. Please cut in front of me"?

Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that one.

Anyway, then I got that done and went to Jadavpur University. I've finally reached the whole point of this entry.

That place scared the fuck out of me.

I was driven into Gate #5 by Sabir. We didn't know where to go. Not a guard in sight. Drove a little ahead and saw a guard sleeping under a tree. There was a fly buzzing around his head. I thought he was dead for a moment but then he snored and I walked up to him.

Me: Excuse me.

Guard: *Snore*

Me: Uh, hello?

Guard: *Snore*

Me: Oi!

Guard: *opens an eye* Ki?

Me: Uh. Admission.

Guard: *points up ahead and goes back to sleep*

So I got back in the car and was driven up ahead, passing scary looking people walking in the sun, shooting murderous looks at me. I remembered what everyone said about it being a Marxist place and began to wish I was in rags walking down with them in rubber chappals. Uncle Rohan warned me that place would do that to me.

Finally I reached a building and there was a long line in front of it. It was the third longest line I'd ever seen. (The first being the one in Science City before the Jethro Tull concert and the second being the line in front of Thunder Mountain Rollercoaster in Disneyland, Paris) I sadly walked to the end of it. I was horrified to note that everyone had jholas that bore a startling resemblance to the purple one that I carry about everywhere. So its true what they say about JUDEs and their jholas.

I walked to the end of the line and there was a scary looking fat woman there.

Scary Looking Fat Woman: Is this the line for Science?

Me: *smiling sweetly* I hope not. I thought there was just one line for everything.

Scary Looking Fat Woman: *looks at me like I'm demented* No, there isn't.

Me: Oh. Well I'm looking for the Arts line.

Scary Looking Fat Woman: *points to where there is no line.*

Me: Uh, thank you.

As I walked away I distinctly heard her mutter pagol phirang under her breath but I chose to ignore it.

So I walked to where there was no line, just a table and a woman thrust a question paper (apparently previous years' entrance exams) at me and demanded twenty rupees. So I silently fished out twenty rupees to her and she steered me over to a man who looked me up and down very disapprovingly.

Man: *looking at form* You need to change this. *points to something* And you haven't filled in this. *points to something else*

Me: Uh, okay.

Man: Where is your ICSE marksheet?

Me: I don't have it.

Man: *looks at me*

Me: I thought we only needed ISC.

Man: *keeps looking at me*

Me: I'll come back tomorrow.

Man: Come on Monday.

So then I scarpered, leaving behind the question papers I paid twenty bucks for.

I ran down the road and called Sabir and asked him to bring the car to where I was standing. Meanwhile, people started chanting slogans behind me. A bald man in a red bandana leered at me. The slogans got louder, especially as the car passed. But thankfully I didn't understand them because they were in Bengali. I got into the car, ignoring the dirty looks I was getting from college students passing by, and sank as low as I could in my seat until we were on the main road again.

To top it all off, there was a cockroach near me and I screamed so loudly Sabir nearly drove into a bus.

This does not bode well for the future.


blinknmiss said...

Told you so.

trish said...


rhea said...

yes. i heard it was like that. thank heavens i'm not applying.

Zaev Dutt said...

That's why you need to develop a leer and all things considered you do have broad shoulders, so learn to square them up.

Also, when somebody leers at you, look them right in the eye and just keep staring. DO NOT BLINK. Keep your face impassive. They'll look away.

Intimidation is half the battle and Indians are easy to intimidate.

As my sister, you should be more than capable of it.