Little Crooked House

I've lost track of how many exams are over, but I know that after today, I have only three exams left. Kind of fucked up that they're going to drag on till the second though.

The trouble is today's exam. Bangla.

I've read all of Nishkriti, for the first time ever, but unfortunately I don't understand what they're all on about most of the time. I've read the first fifteen chapters of Rajarshi, which I understand, even less and I'm relying on Jahnavi Jha, who is my lifeline, to tell me the rest. I looked over the eighty four bagdharas that Manjudi made me write out and I've mugged up about thirty. Knowing my fucked up luck, none of them are going to come anyway. I know that red is tocktock and black is koochkooch which is evidently going to help me a lot today.

Never mind. This is hopefully, the last Bangla exam I shall ever have to write. I bid a not so tearful farewell to Manjudi on Monday. My affection for her has increased of late. Especially when I saw her walk out the door. She's promised that she'll be taking me and Jayatri to eat Chinese food before I leave for my Amazing Holiday. That could have something to do with it. I'm a sucker for Chinese food.

Next exam is on the twenty eight. So today I'm going to meet Vikram and we are going to get some rolls for dinner and watch Juno. He hasn't seen Juno yet. I'm betting we'll watch about twenty minutes of it before he makes me switch it off. He's not a fan of movies that don't have people dropping dead.

Last night, Mama realising how depressed I was, was nice enough to order some Spaghetti Al Funghi for me from Fire and Ice. I love Spaghetti Al Fungi. It's this thick cheesy spaghetti with mushrooms. We sat and watched an episode of the Vicar of Dibley which is the most hilarious tv show ever.

Tomorrow, I shall sleep in. I'll put the AC on and draw my curtains and sleep in till at least ten. It's comforting to know I won't have to wake up at three thirty in the morning for the next ten days.

The second is looking a whole lot closer now. When I was in class eight, I was always convinced that class ten would never come. Then it was class ten and I was positive that after ICSE, ISC would never come. Strange things have been happening. I'm eighteen now, which is something that my ten year old self was convinced would never happen. When I get back from my Amazing Holiday, I shall take driving lessons. I always thought the epitome of grown upness was driving a car, with Mama riding shotgun, and with sunglasses perched on my nose.

That's another thing I'm going to do as soon as the exams are over, buy sunglasses.

I am so lame.

Our new maid is from Orissa. She's a tribal I think and she has tattoos all over. I've counted at least three so far. God knows what else is hidden under the sari. Anguri doesn't like her because she's really nice and efficient. Anguri feels jealous.

I don't think I've mentioned my Amazing Holiday. Strange, because I've told everyone else about it. To the extend that everytime I open my mouth, they all tell me to shut up.

Anyway, basically on the eleventh, I leave for Madras to spend a couple of weeks with Dad. Even though it means sitting at home with not much to do because he's always working, it's still okay because Proiti has an amazing movie collection and I'll be watching five movies a day. There are also seven dogs in the house for me to talk to. Dogs are very good listeners. All you have to do is keep a biscuit in your hand. And I'm going to make Dad take me to that Italian restaurant near the beach and get drunk on wine again. I won't be going down to the beach though, on account of how the last time I went, with Teesta who was staying for a couple of days, I got accosted by two strange men who asked me to take their photgraph. And then they tried to take ours. I got totally freaked out and didn't say anything but Teesta was unbelievable- she started screaming at them, saying her father was in the government and would put them in jail and then they ran away. Then we waded into the sea and a wave knocked me over and I dropped my phone and I pulled Teesta down with me and she dropped her phone too and we spent the rest of our holiday trying to dry out our poor phones (which never worked again) with a hair dryer.

But I digress.

After Madras, I'm going to Kuala Lampur for four days to stay with Siddharth. He has already promised me that I shall not spend a single moment of that time, sober. What fun.

Then Bali for a week, to stay with my cousin. He lives right on the beach and I shall go para gliding and bungee jumping (My mother's been telling me that my eyeballs will fall out of their sockets but whatever) and I shall swim, swim, swim (I know how to get out of a riptide by the way, it's easy. Must be only stupid people who drown) and come back with an amazing tan.

It's taking me five days to get home because there's no direct flight and I'm stopping off for another weekend at Madras. I'm back on the 11th.

I think this is why my mother's being so nice to me. I've never gone out of the city without her for more than two weeks. I think she knows that once I've left, there will be an irreplacable hole in the house. Good. Serves her right. She should appreciate me more while I'm here.

Anyway, it's past nine and I'm going to go and call Jahnavi and get her to explain the entire syllabus to me.

This is a very long post.